Thursday, December 1, 2011

To Corn or Not To Corn?

Shortly after I started seeing my current chiropractor, almost a year ago, she mentioned a lady I may want to make an appointment with. She didn't know her personally, but she had another patient with unexplainable chronic pain, similar to me, who seemed to have some success. The lady is not a doctor, but practices a medical technology known as Electric Dermal Screening (EDS). Apparently it's THE diagnosing technique in Germany and other parts of Europe, but it hasn't quite caught on here yet.

Despite not having to have any sort of medical training (aside from learning how to use the device, of course), it seems to have caught on by those in the know, as the wait list was backed up about 6 months. We thought we'd made me a July appointment, but July came and appointment. I confirmed a new appointment...the Monday after Thanksgiving. Long wait, again.

On Monday I debated back and forth whether or not to even go. It seemed a little hokey. I didn't know what to expect, if it would be worth the money, or if it was just a waste of time. I even found another homeopathic clinician (with an actual doctorate in natural medicine or something like that) as a backup, but ultimately decided if I waited almost a year, I may as well see what it was about.

I can explain the actual process if anyone is curious, but the real point of this post is to bitch about one of the handful of findings. Supposedly, according to my electric nerve pulses (something like that anyway....) I have a severe allergy to corn. That includes corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, and corn oil, but shockingly, not popcorn. That didn't sound too bad at first. I like corn and all, but it's not a fave, and I try to stay away from the corn syrups regardless. OH, but wait. Hello cornstarch, cornflour, polenta, grits, cornbread, (veggie) corndogs, corn tortillas. Not to mention the common corn-based food additives that are added to almost EVERYTHING.

Even my favorite hot sauce has corn starch in it. I'm telling you, EVERYTHING has corn in it.

Stupid corn.

I also came up moderately allergic to sugar, also in everything. I mean..SUGAR, people.

Oy vey.

I was thanking my (not so) lucky stars that peanuts were ok (peanut butter, my love!), stevia, oatmeal....even gluten was great. That one shocked me, as sometimes when I over-do it with the wheat I feel blah. But that may just be the fact that it's a hard grain for anyone to process.

But when I got home and started checking ingredients of everything corn was..always..there.


I even came home late Monday nite (my appt lasted 2 hours! And I only had to pay 1 fee for 3 sessions) and started to make dinner. Step one: mushrooms. Without thinking, I coated them in my favorite Greek seasoning. Five seconds later I realized they contain cornstarch. I washed off the mushrooms (yeah I know you're not supposed to clean mushrooms with water--too bad) and started over. The rest of the meal? Corn free. But wait. At the last second I doused my portion in hot sauce. Yep, the aforementioned cornstarch-containing variety. Whilst cooking, I had, out of curiosity, checked my red hot sauce (which is corn-free..the way to be! ha..I'm so corny...OK I'll stop), but didn't check the green, which was not in the clear. I was exhausted by this point and said eff it, I've eaten corn for 26 years, one more small amount in a meal won't kill me. And it didn't. Yet.

I don't remember Tuesday. But yesterday, I even did well ALL day (I'm pretty sure). Until dessert. Yeah, not only does it include sugar--duh, but I wasn't even thinking.....I planned to get plain fro-yo topped with fruit. Pretty healthy and as far as I know no corn (though there probably is somewhere in the process, but hey I don't know.....). BUT, instead? I took one look at the self-serve bar & all the flavors were suddenly spilling out of my HUGE cup. Next? CANDY. Oh, what's that you say? Candy is chock-full of corn syrup? Shit. Shit. Shit. I was covered in sugar and corn, barely coming up for air, by the time I realized this.

I'm gonna try my best, but since it's not exactly a life or death allergy it's hard to know what to do. If it's a cause of my daily pains or other discomforts, clearly it would be in my best interest to cut it out completely, but I don't know how much it does affect me! And it would be a nearly unrealistic life change to get it out of my system. So idk. For now I'll do my best, but as you'll see....I'm not doing so amazing.

Breakfast started out pretty well.

Egg white and spinach scramble topped with cream cheese, hot sauce (the OK kind), and grey poupon. Brown rice toast topped with Irish butter and lingonberry jam. A pear.

No good morning beverages yet--I'll explain in a sec. But overall I think I did a corn-hating body good.

I worked from home today and while plugging away at my laptop a couple hours later, when it was safe (again, see below), I made a mug of Godiva caramel pecan bark coffee with vanilla stevia and egg nog! I love me some egg nog coffee.

For a snack I had my last vegan tofu curry egg roll. I had read the ingredients the nite before and thought they were in the clear, but today I spied corn starch in the wrapper ingredients. UGH. I ate it anyway.

Same thing happened with dinner. Last nite I read the bottle of a pre-made butter chicken sauce in a jar and I SWEAR it had no corn on it. Wrong. Tonite, after prepping my meal, I noticed cornstarch again. DAMMIT, people. Again, I ate it anyway. Whatever.

Made with an organic diced chicken breast on top of basmati rice.

& a salad

I got a small stomachache, but no big thing. Could have been from the acidity of the sauce. Who knows?

For dessert I finished my frozen candy yogurt. I suck.

I've also been given a homeopathic remedy for another possible health, bacteria-related issue. Guess what? With homeopathic remedies you can't have caffeine within 2 hours of taking the drops (aka no coffee until at least 2 hours after waking) and you can't have mint (including cinnamon?). No mint toothpaste. No burts bees chapstick. This crap better help me feel better, I tell ya!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a little snuggle buggle to attend to.

She's corn free too. Mama doesn't let her eat corn, soy, or wheat. Common doggie allergies, you see. But she sure can put away celery, carrots, and apples! Apples are her kryptonite. That's my girl.


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